Last summer on my annual fly fishing float I shared a boat with a new member of the club. She was a few years older than me and was living in Eugene as her daughter finished up at the University of Oregon.
We got on the subject of men. She had some experience with dating and was telling me her favorite place to be for dates was in Alaska, because the ratio of men to women was like no other. She never had a problem finding someone to go out with. And it was fun to be there because there was lots of great fishing, rugged men, good places to eat etc.
She had fallen in love with someone up there and I actually do not remember why they weren’t together anymore except for she had moved here. But before meeting this gentleman she said she had dated quite a bit. She said it always started really good and she felt she had found the perfect thing and eventually realized it was not what she was seeking.
The advice she had given me was if you are with someone long enough and they are standing on their head trying to impress you etc, that soon the blood would rush to their head and they would fall over or their true self would show through as they would not be able to maintain. That is when you can see if this person is real or if they were maintaining a falsehood to impress. I believe this advice is good for several reasons. At least in my case, I want to impress the person I am going out with and of course will put my very best foot forward the first few times going out. But I am also a very honest person, I am not maybe what some men seek in a lady. I am sort of tomboy, work a lot, busy schedule, so I cannot devote my every waking moment to the person I am seeing. This hasn’t gone so well in the few people I have dated this last year, but it is okay. I am learning.
I want to meet someone real, genuine, not trying to impress. Don’t get me wrong, I am liking being spoiled upon occasion, but I am me, simple, not fancy, have huge family responsibilities that are priority. Not that if I met you ~ I wouldn’t focus my attention to you completely, but I make it clear that I have other things going on in my life as well.
Some men understand this concept, and generally move on, we remain friends, but nothing ever serious. Some men do not understand this and I get frustrated. I was frustrated last night, and I remembered back to this conversation I had in July of 2012 in the middle of McKenzie River. I have not seen Carol since the float, but hoping she is finding what she is looking for.