Special in your life is always difficult. Death, divorce, break-up is a loss and something the heart and mind have to reconcile with. It maybe a parent, a spouse, a family member, a boyfriend or girlfriend. Someone you are very close to or someone you didn’t have a great connection to. Still a loss. Still the stages you have to experience of grief. Denail, Bargain, Anger, Depression and Acceptance.
Whether planned, amicable or sudden your heart still grieves. For how long you hurt depends. Many factors are involved in the grieving process. How it happened, suddenly, slowly, can help determine the length of the grieving process.
But for many I have known or even myself, I find even after a loss and grieving and reconciling everything that an occasional feeling or twinge will come over me and the hurt~sense of loss is as real as if the loss happened just yesterday when it really happened long ago. It could be a memory, or a smell, or a picture that pops up and you are drawn back into that moment with that someone. You maybe trying to help someone through their process and all of a sudden all the memories of your loss pop back up into your head. The feelings are all there again as real as can be. The questions surrounding the loss, (did I do enough, was I there enough, could I have done something different) all come back to haunt the brain.
I have found that a positive support group, prayer, friends, excercise and my hobbies can help when I get into a funk. I used to over process things (sometimes still do), and then of course I would get into a bigger funk and start to get into a hole of sadness. Before I get too deep, I try to reach to one of the few things above to help me not be in a funk or sink too low.
It is okay to grieve. You should grieve, cry, scream, yell, ask the questions. Don’t stuff it. But then you have to get back up on your two feet and move forward, head held high, knowing there are others looking at you as well for strength and kindness. Or a friend needing help and advice in a their grieving process.